So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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