East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
