i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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