Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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