Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize