at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
