I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
