Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
