so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
