That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
do herpes really smell.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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