Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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