Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize