I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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