You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
