Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
