I CAN MOONWALK!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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