you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
