No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize