Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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