Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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