Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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