It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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