There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
