I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
