AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
