I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
two words: eviction party
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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