Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm getting married
To pizza
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize