oh god the rape fog is back!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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