Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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