so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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