Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
