I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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