And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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