it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize