They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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