I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
