Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
