I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
