don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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