The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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