She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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