I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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