how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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