Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
