By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
