I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
