I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.