we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
