READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
