Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
