Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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