franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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