I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
bring money and cleavage
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
