her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
