Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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