I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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