god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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