he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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