they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
