We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
