nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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