we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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