He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
